大家情人節快樂～我是Lia～
快過年了，不知道還有多少人保有每天還是要唸一點書的衝勁？:)
快過年了，不知道還有多少人保有每天還是要唸一點書的衝勁？:)
今天我想分享一篇我寫過的作文。這篇文章，裡的句型和片語，有些是經過有意識的抽換及思考過的，誠如我之前所分享的：寫作想進步，最重要的是要平時就要對寫作有感覺，有意識地思考自己字句的優美，字詞的使用適切度。同時，想寫出好文章，更要常保對世界的好奇，才有辦法在遇到不同主題時主動去蒐集各種情報、資源、新的話題、論述及對事物的看法。
以下我分享自己寫過的這篇文章，大家不妨從中感受：
1. 我是如何切入題目的
2. 我是如何安排我不同的想點
3. 我的字詞如何交換使用（什麼時候用較高雅的好字詞？什麼時候用較平易近人的詞彙？
1. 我是如何切入題目的
2. 我是如何安排我不同的想點
3. 我的字詞如何交換使用（什麼時候用較高雅的好字詞？什麼時候用較平易近人的詞彙？
4. 我如何安排我的段落?
5. 最後，我怎麼用轉折語或結構性語言等將我的文章串起來？（哪些字詞是大家常用的signposting language? 哪些是一般人比較不常用的字詞？）
Question:
Question:
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Some people say that children should spend their free time on free clubs and extra classes. Others, however, believe they should spend their leisure time doing activities with their families. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.
閱讀到這裡，你不需先急著讀我的回答。
你可以先自己試試看寫一篇作文，或至少，先想想，你會如何切入這個題目？
又會用哪些論證支持你的立場呢？
接下來，和大家分享我的答案：（初稿）
My answer:
Whether youngsters should engage in classes or spend time with their close relatives is certainly up for debate. In this essay, I will discuss both of these views and conclude by giving my own statement of the issue.
One argument in favor of school pupils attending societies or lessons in their free time is that children will gain new knowledge participating in these after-school activities. These events will help develop a child’s cognitive abilities, and will help him become more energetic, more outgoing and more positive to the outside world. In addition, joining football teams, knitting clubs or clubs of these sorts will also allow kids to develop their initial talent and potential interest. This can be a considerable benefit for their career development later in life.
On the contrary, people who oppose to this view will argue that being with family benefit a child even more. When children spend leisure time with their parents and siblings, they are encouraged to appreciate virtues passed down through the family. In addition, it is undeniable that when children do their daily schedules under the companion of their family, they are inclined to gain a sense of self-completeness. This self-completeness is owned to belief that their family are with them whatever they do. With this belief, children would not feel that abandoned and would thus gain confidence towards themselves.
To sum up, it is certain that children will benefit from both of these activities. In my personal view, however, I would actually argue that children should split equal amount of time between their family and other social activities. While giving time to family will enhance a child’s self confidence, I truly believe that participating in school clubs also helps to build a mindset for success. Because of the reasons aforementioned, I will argue that it is always better for children to balance between the two, giving some time to both school and domestic activities.
—
Afterword:
Looking from my first draft, it is not difficult to see how I have played with my sentences. IELTS is NOT THE SAME as TOEFL, it requires examinees to write good sentence patterns and use THE RIGHT words. Of course, this writing sample is not perfect. It is, after all, my first draft for this topic, and it is written UNDER STRICT TIME CONTROL. Please keep this in mind, and look closely at my essay again. You might discover that, in order to become a good writer, you will need 1) a variety of precise language 2) some ideas to talk on 3) the ability to explain and to raise examples. In my writing, I have also tried to extend my explanations to give my readers a clearer idea of what I am talking about; in addition, I did another thing: I changed my words CONSCIOUSLY while I wrote. This would be a challenge for you when you start your road to IELTS. However, it would be a fruitful journey, for you would discover that by collecting good words here and there, you will be building up a POWERFUL WORD BANK that will help you in expressing yourself more appropriately every time you speak OR write. To wrap up, I would like to say that: if we have all the time unlimited, of course we would be able to become the best writer. Yet, when time is short, learn to sacrifice. What do you MUST write about? And what do you WANT TO develop MORE on? To become a good writer, you should always have this mindset in heart.
To give you a refined version of my first draft, I would give you the following:
Question:
Some people say that children should spend their free time on free clubs and extra classes. Others, however, believe they should spend their leisure time doing activities with their families. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.
My answer, refined version:
People have always debated heatedly on whether youngsters should engage in classes or spend time with their close relatives. People who support children to attend class activities say that being with schoolmates help children to learn teamwork and other essential skills; whereas people who argue that children should spend more time with their family believe that only precious time spent with family offers children a real self identity. In this essay, I will discuss both of these views and conclude by giving my own statement of the issue.
One argument in favor of school pupils attending societies or lessons in their free time is that children will gain new knowledge participating in these after-school activities. These after-school events will help develop a child’s cognitive abilities, mainly referring to his ability to perceive, remember and imagine. Imagine if an eight-year-old boy attends music classes after school. By singing with the choir, he might probably understand that emotions can be expressed through music. He will also become more energetic, more outgoing and more positive to the outside world. Another benefit that school clubs offer to kids is a calling towards their inner self. In short, joining football teams, knitting clubs or clubs of these sorts will also allow kids to develop their initial talent and potential interest. For example, the child that attended choir might discover that he is actually quite talented in music, and he would probably set his life goal to become a musician in the future. In any means, this can be a considerable benefit for a child’s career development later in life.
Indeed, while there are people agreeing to the benefits of school clubs, there are also people who oppose to it. These people argue that being with family benefit a child even more. The first and foremost benefit that children receive when spending leisure time with their parents and siblings is virtues passed down the family. A young girl, for example, will learn from her mother the importance of respecting others and working hard. In addition, these people also argue that when children do daily affairs under the accompany of family, they are inclined to be more confident. This confidence comes from a belief that their family would be with them whatever they do. Thus, a child will grow up to be fearless because he understands that he has nothing to lose. This mental strength is something that school activities will never provide.
To sum up, it is certain that children will benefit from both of these activities. In my personal view, however, I would actually argue that children should split equal amount of time between their family and other social activities. While giving time to family will enhance a child’s self confidence, I truly believe that participating in school clubs also helps to build a mindset for success. Because of the reasons aforementioned, I will argue that it is always better for parents to allow their children to balance between the two, giving some time to both school and domestic activities.
As you can see, there is ALWAYS ROOM FOR DEVELOPMENT, as long as you try.
So, write precise, and, write fast.
——
如果大家看我以上的這個練習，你應該可以輕而易舉地發現我真的是在「有意識地使用好單字」。雅思畢竟和托福非常不一樣，雅思考官在文字上面較為挑剔，因此這意味著：考生會被要對同個概念換句話說，並且要練習用不同的句型、不同卻又精準的單字說話。
在時間限制下，這篇文章並不完美。這是針對一個主題的草稿，這篇文章，是在嚴格的時間控制下寫出來的。如果你理解以上的這些條件，然後再回頭看我的文章，你會發現：在時間壓力下想趕出一篇還算不錯的初稿，你需要培養以下三個技能：1. 你需要有一定的句型量和字庫 2. 你需要可以講的東西（別讓你的文章空洞乏味）3. 你需要會延伸、會舉例。
在我的文章裡，我確實有嘗試在多處地方用例子引導我的讀者；同時，我還做了很重要的事：I CHANGED my WORDS CONCIOUSLY while I wrote. 也就是說，我是一邊一寫一邊抽換字詞的，而非全部寫完，再來抽換字詞。從此，你就可以理解了，字詞的靈活度對於一個寫作者相當重要，所謂的靈活，應是可以隨時使用、並應知道該如何用。
我想，這會是對多數考生的一個挑戰，但說實在的，我也因為這樣，確實覺得雅思很好玩。對你來說，也許這練習在初期真的會困難許多，但是，當你練成了這些自由抽換字詞的能力後，你會發現這個練習投資報酬率相當高。只要平時多留意、觀察、收集，你就可以開始建造屬於自己的字典，而這本字典，將在你每次使用英文表達自己時，真正幫助到你。
最後，我想和大家分享：如果我們有世界上無盡的時間寫作，當然，我們都可以變成最棒的寫作者。然而，時間是有限的，因此在有限的時間下，你必須學會犧牲。這是任何一個想寫好作文的人，都必須要理解的道理。
我從14歲開始寫日記，中文日記、英文日記都寫，一共寫了十年。因為我是一個對文字很挑剔的人，以前每當我發表一篇日記前，我總要寫上兩三個小時，當時的我總想什麼都寫，全部都寫。然而，隨著我慢慢長大，開始上班、或開始唸書，我的時間變少了，寫作的時間也變少了。因為這個實際條件上的限制，再加上以往的寫作經歷，我逐漸體會到：如果真的要寫出一篇精練的文章，我們必須有所犧牲，因為總是有些部分是我們想講的，而有些部分我們其實並沒有理解自己為什麼想講。因此，寫作需要好的主題，寫作也需要一個明確的目的。如此，你的作文，才會理出最適合題目的發展。
說了那麼多，最後，在文章的上面，我附了我的Revised version of this essay.
我想，這會是對多數考生的一個挑戰，但說實在的，我也因為這樣，確實覺得雅思很好玩。對你來說，也許這練習在初期真的會困難許多，但是，當你練成了這些自由抽換字詞的能力後，你會發現這個練習投資報酬率相當高。只要平時多留意、觀察、收集，你就可以開始建造屬於自己的字典，而這本字典，將在你每次使用英文表達自己時，真正幫助到你。
最後，我想和大家分享：如果我們有世界上無盡的時間寫作，當然，我們都可以變成最棒的寫作者。然而，時間是有限的，因此在有限的時間下，你必須學會犧牲。這是任何一個想寫好作文的人，都必須要理解的道理。
我從14歲開始寫日記，中文日記、英文日記都寫，一共寫了十年。因為我是一個對文字很挑剔的人，以前每當我發表一篇日記前，我總要寫上兩三個小時，當時的我總想什麼都寫，全部都寫。然而，隨著我慢慢長大，開始上班、或開始唸書，我的時間變少了，寫作的時間也變少了。因為這個實際條件上的限制，再加上以往的寫作經歷，我逐漸體會到：如果真的要寫出一篇精練的文章，我們必須有所犧牲，因為總是有些部分是我們想講的，而有些部分我們其實並沒有理解自己為什麼想講。因此，寫作需要好的主題，寫作也需要一個明確的目的。如此，你的作文，才會理出最適合題目的發展。
說了那麼多，最後，在文章的上面，我附了我的Revised version of this essay.
如果你喜歡，歡迎大家多讀幾次賞味，也希望今天讀完作文後，我有給你一些寫雅思作文的啟發。
別忘了，真正雅思考試時，是有很硬的時間限制的。因此，你必須練習寫精，但也別忘了，你也必須寫得快。
歡迎大家在留言處分享你針對此題寫作題目的答案～如果你有任何閱讀心得，也歡迎你提出來分享！只要你願意分享你的答案或獲得，我就會給你簡單的回覆喔！
歡迎大家在留言處分享你針對此題寫作題目的答案～如果你有任何閱讀心得，也歡迎你提出來分享！只要你願意分享你的答案或獲得，我就會給你簡單的回覆喔！
